Desire. Ask. Believe. Receive.

It was our free weekend (Suzie spent her's at the ocean with my parents) and we spent it doing our taxes and getting our house in order. It was soooo nice to get things taken care of. Also, I had two killer workouts (my abs are absolutely on fire this morning) and went to a great women's meeting. John had some stressed out minutes when it became clear that we were going to owe a couple grand to the IRS but honestly the REASON that we're in the situation we're in comes from a place of being so incredibly fortunate that I can hardly complain. Plus, we've got the knowelege and finances to get ourselves out of it, so really, while of course I'd like to keep that money in my own pocket, I'm definitely not seeing the big negative, you know?

Um...what else...I don't know, I've got no drama to speak of so what's a girl to write about? I feel great; I'm thankful everyday for my sobriety. I can't believe how amazing my life has become since I quit drinking. That's not to say I don't get twinges of wanting it now and again--just yesterday while walking through the wine isle I heard a little voice way back in my brain saying something along the lines of "poor me, I love wine and it's soooo not fair that I can't have it anymore" but it only took about 2 seconds for me to completely squash that voice. It's not that I CAN'T have it, it's not like someone is holding a gun to my head and not letting me drink; it's that I've renounced it; that I don't WANT it. It's poison and it was ruining my life and John's life and Suzie's life.

God, and the clarity. It's so amazing to see the world and my life for what it really is. It's so amazing to not have hangovers. It's so amazing to not snap at Suzie and argue with John. And it's such a relief to never get behind the wheel and worry about getting a DUI; because honestly any guilt I felt the next morning about driving while intoxicated was nothing compared to my selfish worry of getting a DUI. It's amazing to have my eyes opened.