Thursday, January 24, 2008
I am happy today.
I am no officially the senior-most member of my rehab group. That is so wild to me. I'm the person now that the counselor points out to the rest of the group as one to look at in terms of how far I've come. Amazing. And super cool.
I'm feeling really positive about where I am with this whole sobriety thing. The cravings are all but gone, and when they do come I feel strong in my ability to ride them out and not give in. I've always got to be careful, I always need to be on guard; but it's different now, something in me has shifted. No matter how hard my husband or my boss or the universe might be pushing me to drink (which they're not by the way, it's all me) I've got to stand strong and not give in. I've got to think it through, I've got to call my sponser, I've got to work out, I've got to write, I've got to not drink. It's not an option anymore.
My MIL is really wanting to talk to me about my experience. She's a chronic alchoholic and it feels like she's hoping I'll be able to pass on that one little nugget of education/information that she's been missing in her search for sobriety. There's no little pill of info though. My sobriety came from going to classes three times a week; it's being accountable to a counselor and to a group of people; it's reaching way outside my comfort zone to do really hard work; it's going to AA; it's reading; it's all that and even more I think. And if she wants what I've gotten from rehab she's got to go there herself. Hell yeah it's scary--do people think I wasn't scared walking myself in there?
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I'm feeling really positive about where I am with this whole sobriety thing. The cravings are all but gone, and when they do come I feel strong in my ability to ride them out and not give in. I've always got to be careful, I always need to be on guard; but it's different now, something in me has shifted. No matter how hard my husband or my boss or the universe might be pushing me to drink (which they're not by the way, it's all me) I've got to stand strong and not give in. I've got to think it through, I've got to call my sponser, I've got to work out, I've got to write, I've got to not drink. It's not an option anymore.
My MIL is really wanting to talk to me about my experience. She's a chronic alchoholic and it feels like she's hoping I'll be able to pass on that one little nugget of education/information that she's been missing in her search for sobriety. There's no little pill of info though. My sobriety came from going to classes three times a week; it's being accountable to a counselor and to a group of people; it's reaching way outside my comfort zone to do really hard work; it's going to AA; it's reading; it's all that and even more I think. And if she wants what I've gotten from rehab she's got to go there herself. Hell yeah it's scary--do people think I wasn't scared walking myself in there?
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