Desire. Ask. Believe. Receive.

Of course anyone's welcome to read it--this is a public web page--I'm just sayin'--Boring Alert--You've been warned.


Ok, so I started back to work at my old place of employment about two months ago. I don't know how many of you were reading my old blog while I was previously employed there before I got pregnant and had Suzie and left the company but I was friends with a co-worker named, um, how about James. I work at a pretty redneck factory in a small town and don't really get along politically with most of my co-workers--I definitely work in a "red" company. I thought James was cool from the start--he was vehemently and vocally anti-Bush administration/Iraq War and stood up to anybody in the company about it. He talked about his wife a lot--that she was really cool, very into yoga and fitness, she was a stay-at-home-mom--that kind of thing, and I was so excited to meet a cool new couple. I was never attracted to James but I knew he was to me but I just assumed it was a friendly thing and flirted back. We would eat lunch together in the company break room and just talk about all kinds of stuff. It was so cool to have a like-minded friend in such a dreary environment.

I'm being totally honest here, you all know that if I'd have been interested I would have made something happen, or at least attempted it, it's not like I was holding back in those days. But I didn't want anything to happen, I just liked having a cool lunch partner. So John and I hung out at their family's house a couple of times, we met their kids, they came to our Memorial Day party--things were great. Then one day James came to me and said that he and his wife, (um, I'm just going to give into my bitchy side and call her PB--short for psychotic bitch), had had a fight, she'd hit him a few times and told him he wasn't allowed to have lunch with me anymore.

Fine. Lunches were done. I was pissed but got over it mostly. He invited us to a party at their house a month or so later but I declined, I still felt a little bruised and didn't want to hang with a woman who didn't trust me with her husband. A few months later he even came to me and said that PB had expressed an interest in having a foursome/swingy/swappy thing with John and me. I was like "HELL FUCKING NO--that woman is psycho and there's no way I'm walking into that bees nest." And it was never brought up again.

Four months later I went into labor, left the company and didn't see either of them again until I went back to work in April. Having had two years for my pride to heal I was so excited to see James again. I called him my first day back, he didn't know I was coming back, and said "I've been thinking about you guys so much!" To which he replied "I've been thinking about YOU so much." I guess I should have seen the red flag for what it was but I tried to shrug it off. He came up to see me in my office and I gave him my number and email and said "talk to PB and have her get in touch with me--I'd love to hang out and have a beer--no drama necessary."

So a couple of days later I start getting emails from PB, they were pretty chatty and really, really long. This woman is a stay-at-home mom with all her kids in school so she has a LOT of time on her hands. Red flag number two--after I'd briefly responded to two lengthy emails she commented that I was clearly not as interested in a friendship as I'm made James think as I wasn't taking the time to write in kind. We cleared that up--hello, 15 minutes of computer time a day!!! That's when she brought up the issue with the lunches two years prior. That was fine with me too, I'd kind of forgotten just HOW psychotic she was and was looking forward to clearing the air, and her picture of me. In her opinion I'd been teasing him and "playing up to his kinks" because once I'd talked to him about these awesome knee-high, platform, latex boots I'd bought. I knew he was into hearing about them, but again, I guess I was naive but I didn't think I was leading him on--I NEVER flirted with him like I do with guys that I'm interested in--I never once touched his arm or lowered my voice or did any of the other flirty things I do to express an interest.

Blah. Whatever. We cleared that up.

I told her I wasn't interested in having sex with her husband AND told her (because she'd expressed interest) that she was more than able to have sex with mine if either (well, preferably both) were interested but that I don't have much sex drive lately and that I really just not that into girls so no threesomes for me, thanks.

(damn it, Andrew, you totally owe me, this is so long!!!)

So we decided we'd all meet and have drinks at my friends' band's show that weekend. She, James and I were hanging out drinking for much of the night--John was doing sound so he wasn't sitting with us. She mentioned having some weed in the car if I wanted to go smoke some of it with James. I was like "cool, you sure it's alright?" she was like "yeah, I'm going to go hang with John."

Cool. James and I go to the car and smoke a little at which point he asks "ok, can I kiss you now?" I was like "are you sure that's alright with PB?" and he replied "yeah, she's practically pushing me into it so she can do the same to John." I didn't really feel like it, to repeat, I'm not that into James, I have very little sex drive anyway, AND pot exacerbates that even more; BUT I felt the tiniest bit obligated and didn't want to hurt his feelings so I was like "what the hell" and kissed him for a few minutes. Nothing hot and heavy, no petting, nothing like that. Just a kind of quick kiss. I felt absolutely nothing.

We go back inside and he's going on "god I've got the coolest wife, I can't believe she lets me do this." etc etc. But was also saying stuff like "my wife is crazy, don't cross her man, I mean it" and "I could totally fall in love with you." Red flag number, um, 3000 or so?

The rest of the night is fine. We drink, we dance, we talk. It's all good.

The next day John gets and email from PB, flirting and asking when they can get together. They set up a hiking date for the following weekend and have a couple more flirty emails over the weekend. On Monday he gets another email that's pretty flirty but with one line that said something like "your wife totally betrayed my trust, keep her away from my husband." Something like that. I've still got the emails but they're buried right now and I honestly don't feel like reliving them.

I wrote her what I thought a clear, honest, almost friendly account of my take of the situation, adding that I was shocked that she felt betrayed and that I really thought I was within the bounds of her comfort. She fired back what was at the time the meanest, ugliest email I've ever received. The next morning I awoke to another one, while she'd sent John another flirty, friendly one, and the next day I received yet another! I never responded to any of them. Not that I didn't have plenty to say--boy was I hot--but she clearly didn't understand the first one I'd written and had completely twisted it. There was really no reason to go further with it--besides I loved thinking about how frustrating it must have been for her to not get a response.

The last one was the creepiest one though. It was kind of like she was trying to take the high road or something, advising me to get some therapy for my obviously low self-esteem and weight issues, but then went into how she'd completely beaten James up on the car ride home, scratched him and given him a black eye--and he'd THANKED HER FOR LOVING HIM ENOUGH TO DO IT!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! "Thank you for beating me up, that proves to me that you love me." My god, you don't have to work in a domestic violence shelter to know how absolutely messed up that is!

James called me at my desk the next day to inform me that he'd fucked up and hurt "his best friend" and that he wouldn't be talking to me anymore. I have to admit, that stings my pride a little bit but by and large I think it's just best to not having anything to do with either of them.

Ok. Done now.