Desire. Ask. Believe. Receive.

I'm acting grumpy with Suzie and it's not her fault. I'm just tired and bored. I got enough sleep, but I'm tired of vacuuming the carpet and mopping the kitchen floor every single fucking day. Maybe I should just look at it as a meditation in, um, what's the word? Patience, yeah, that's it, a meditation in patience and let it go. Of course I should. I just have a bad attitude today. I cleaned the kitchen and that helped a little. I don't know why I'm so grumpy. After Suzie goes down for her nap (which I pray is soon as she's been up for nearly four hours now) I'll work out and hopefully that will help improve my mood.

I got some great job ideas from Sarah yesterday and that was really helpful. She suggested I come up with some basic menus, figure out pricing and then make some flyers and post on some parenting boards and see if I can start making delivered meals for people. I think it could possibly work, I'd just need to go through my recipes and tweak and perfect some of my favorites first. I wouldn't want to deliver weird food to people. And I doubt they'd come back for more if I did. Maybe I should do something like give two entrees for the price of one for the first order--that might get people's interest.

Anyway, that improved my mood a bit. She also suggested really trying to get work at non-profit agencies doing admin stuff. I definitely like that idea as well, though I'm not finding too many of them to be hiring at this point. I'll keep looking, but the best idea would be the cooking from home, that way I wouldn't have to put Suzie in day care all week but I could possibly make enough cash to get her to a sitter once a week or so, just so I can hold onto my sanity. Or perhaps join a gym with childcare so I could have an hour or so to myself everyday. That sounds like heaven. For real.

So what else? I don't know. I'm feeling a bit more energized just having written this. We lost power last night. It went out around 6 and came back at midnight. The scary thing was that there was an actual line down across our driveway. John was at work and I wouldn't have even known about it if our neighbor hadn't also been trapped at home and came by to tell me. As it was John came home and parked at the neighbor's house down the hill and walked up through the vacant property next door. With a pizza--good husband!

Today I've got to go and pick up an application for a case manager position with the Area Agency on Aging. It's due on Friday but I think I can bang it out tomorrow. I can try today but John has his radio show tonight so I won't get any baby-respite. Probably the most I'll be able to accomplish tonight is drinking a glass of wine and watching Veronica Mars and, um, what's that show I watch on Bravo...with Heidi Klum, god damn I can't think of it. You know, it's like America's Next Top Model except they're all gay fashion designers...PROJECT RUNWAY! Thanks husband for the brain jog--I could totally not remember that. Anyway, that's my plan for the evening.

It's funny that that job just came open as I was just talking with a friend last week who mentioned that I should look into direct service with aging populations as it's pretty stress-free as far as direct service work goes and mostly just has to do with service coordination. I think I can deal with that so I'm going to put some energy into making that happen if possible. It's just been so long since I've had to interview for anything--I'm pretty nervous about that.