Desire. Ask. Believe. Receive.

So yesterday, just before I got on the phone with John and fell into a depression I did a tarot reading for myself that seemed to be suggesting that I find some kind of peace through feeding/nourishing others. I liked the reading a lot and that's what really got me thinking of going back to school. I've been considering culinary school for quite some time but lately I've been thinking more of going to esthetician school, which would be kind of a radical departure for me but kind of not at the same time.

So anyway, I was still depressed this morning, as I already mentioned but got up and cleaned the kitchen (well as best as I could with no water or electricity), worked out, and did another reading.

--I'd just like to add how fucking proud I am of myself for getting a workout on despite feeling as lackluster and sluglike as I did...

This reading said two important things. The first was that I need to step way outside of my comfort zone and embrace change. The second, and really super pivotal idea was that I need to open myself up to loving myself and others in the best way I know how. I think anyone who knows the real me knows that I do that best through cooking. I love having big dinner parties with tons of courses where everyone eats way too much and feels exceptionally happy and comforted and cared for and loved.

So I think things are really pointing in this direction. I'm still going to fill out the applications in the meantime but I want to put my real energy into deciding how legit I want to make this business. Do I want to do it kind of undercover? Do I want to get a business license? I need to really look into the ins and outs of the whole thing. And I suppose I should get a food handlers permit. I need to come up with a name, figure out menus and prices, then look into making flyers and possibly building a website.

I feel very energized about this. I hope something positive comes of it.

I need to go clean the kitchen floor. Again.